I was so excited for our sealing on Thursday July 20th. I could barely sleep the night before thinking about all of the miracles that had to come to pass in order for us as a family to be getting sealed to our new daughter that next day. I could not believe that I was taking our baby girl to the same place where it all began. Our sealing day was almost two years from the day I was sitting in the temple and my Heavenly Father said: "Now." After that moment two years ago I never once doubted that everything was going to work out to get Vivi home with us. I had seen her, and I knew she was going to be with us. Sure, the adoption road was often times heartbreaking and frustrating and I often thought that maybe the Lord had forgotten us. However, I had unwavering faith in Him that this day would come because I had seen it. I've never had faith in anything in my life like I have had about this little girl. So anyway, I found myself so very excited the night before, and basically I didn't sleep at all.
We took it pretty easy during the day. I'm sure I puttered around and prepared the house for everyone to come over later that night, but mostly we just hung out. Before I knew it, it was time to put the girls in their beautiful matching dresses and head to the temple.
I have always disliked actually driving to the temple. Especially if I have to be there at a certain time. I don't know what it is, but I am always engulfed in anxiety. I was expecting that feeling as we went. I was expecting to be short tempered, frigid, and snappy. But I wasn't at all. I felt insanely calm and happy. We hadn't driven very far from the house before I started feeling this heaviness in my chest. I realized that it wasn't just our little family in the car, but we were surrounded by angels. It hit me on that drive that we were about to do one of the most important things we would ever do in this life. That Brent and I adopting this little angel from China was one of the main reasons we were here on Earth. So yeah, that is kind of a big statement to make, but I felt it then. Obviously I have appreciated the miracle that is Vivien, but it was on that drive that I realized the importance her adoption was going to be in our lives. Also how important it was for us to bring her and her Chinese heritage to our family and the gospel. Anyway, the weight of what we were about to do actually felt like a true and real weight on my chest. Not an unpleasant feeling, but a persistent one.
We got to the parking garage easily with plenty of time. However, I was truly upset when I went to get Vivi out of the car and she had these stains on her dress! And I'm pretty sure it was from my lipstick that I had on my finger. I was so upset, because I had been so careful not to have her wear her dress until the very last minute. Brent encouraged me to ignore it, but I COULD NOT! It was so obvious. As we got out of the parking garage and could see the temple I tried to refocus and remember that little stain did not matter. I watched my beautiful family and my precious girls hold hands as they walked across the street and entered the temple.
When we got in, they walked us to the nursery to drop off the girls. I told them about the stain on the dress and they were all so nice and offered to help me walk over to the laundry area to see if I could get it out. In the temple they use a toothbrush and Ivory soap to get stains out of the white clothes. And I don't know if it was what they used or the magic of the temple, but both stains came right out. I was so thrilled. Vivi ended up actually wearing that dress during the sealing so I was glad we got out the stains.
Soon it was time to leave the girls. I had tried to prepare Stella for the experience of the temple. I remember so little from the day I was sealed to my family. I talked her through all the steps. She was such an amazing big sister that day since she was accompanying Vivien most of the time. I felt so comfortable leaving Vivien knowing she had her Stella with her.
I got to get ready in the bride's room which was so fun. It was empty and calm and beautiful. My name was on a locker and I had more than enough sisters helping me get ready. I was just beaming the whole time. I don't think I have ever been that happy in my life.
I met up with Brent and we were walked to the celestial room. We sat down and were there for what felt like a long time, but was maybe only about 45 minutes. I tried to think about churchy things, but when I did I would just burst into tears. I felt surrounded by so much love and joy. I felt reminded constantly of the significance of what we were about to do. I felt amazingly blessed that I was able to be a part of Vivien's life.
Before we left the house I had jokingly told Valerie (who was staying with us) not to be late. That was the last thing I said to her: "See you soon, don't be late." I said it as a joke. So it was very funny to me when one of the temple workers told us that we were waiting on "my sister Valerie." I guess they got lost? I was not sure where they were. There was an accident on the freeway though, and I think Valerie being late actually made it so a few of our other guests could make it in time, so it all worked out. It is funny to get that kind of news though because you aren't even thinking about anyone else at that time. I was so far removed from anything outside of the temple that I kind of forgot other people were coming. I did tell Brent that I wished we were just doing the sealing, and then we could go home and not make a big deal of it with pictures. Which, coming from this picture crazy girl, is saying something. But I knew we would want them and I'm so glad we have them now of course.
Finally it was time for us to go into the sealing room. We first met with our sealer and talked with him for a few minutes. Then we went into the room. My giddy happy feeling intensified even more and I could barely keep it together. I sat down on the couch next to my mom and I grabbed her hand. I looked around the room at all of the people that we loved and people that had meant so much to us during the whole adoption process. Of course I don't remember a word the sealer said. I didn't expect to, nor did I feel like I needed to. I really just spent the time looking around trying to memorize how I was feeling.
Brent and I then knelt at the altar and then the girls came in the room. And oh man, I just lost it. This is where writing it all down gets a bit tricky. The next few moments were probably the most spiritual of my life and the feelings I felt are very sacred to me. First of all though I want to say how beautiful Vivien looked to me. She was of course in her adorable dress. I didn't know how she was going to react to any of this. But she came in, saw me, and came right to me with a big grin on her face. She came over to her spot and put her hand on ours. At that moment I felt like I couldn't breathe, but in a good way. The air in the room was heavy--that is the best way I can describe it. Vivien was glowing. She was smiling bigger than I've ever seen her. She kept looking at me and her dad and then looking up and smiling. She was smiling at all of her angels. I really think she could see them. The room was full of them. All of her ancestors were gathered in that room--I felt them. I knew they were there. I was a crying, blubbering mess, but I was smiling too. I was trying so hard not to scare Vivien because I know it freaks her out to see people crying. But she wasn't worried at all. She was like this little light bulb. She was the beautiful bright spot in the room. I have never felt the presence of my Heavenly Father so strongly in my life. I can easily say that after that experience I could never doubt my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What happens in those temples is real and eternal. There is no other explanation for the happiness and joy I felt in that room.
After Vivi was sealed to us we were able to gather with everyone in the room. I grabbed my little Stella and gave her a big hug. Part of my preparation for Stella was to tell her that she might forget many of the details from that day, but I wanted her to focus on the feelings she felt in the sealing room. I told her that whatever she felt in that room would be the Holy Ghost, and that she would be able to know how it felt. The only problem with that of course was when I told her later that I had never felt the Holy Ghost so strongly in my life. She was so sweet about all of it. She said that she wanted to cry, but she tried not to. I love her so much.
As each visitor came up and met with us, Vivi looked at each of them right in the eye. She was completely present in that room, and was soaking it all up. After the majority of the visitors left we were in the room with just the grandparents and the sealer had us look in the eternity mirrors. Brent held Stella up and I held Vivi. And man oh man I was just so very happy.
We then headed down to get everything together and get changed and ready to go meet up with everyone outside.
Soon it was time to leave the girls. I had tried to prepare Stella for the experience of the temple. I remember so little from the day I was sealed to my family. I talked her through all the steps. She was such an amazing big sister that day since she was accompanying Vivien most of the time. I felt so comfortable leaving Vivien knowing she had her Stella with her.
I got to get ready in the bride's room which was so fun. It was empty and calm and beautiful. My name was on a locker and I had more than enough sisters helping me get ready. I was just beaming the whole time. I don't think I have ever been that happy in my life.
I met up with Brent and we were walked to the celestial room. We sat down and were there for what felt like a long time, but was maybe only about 45 minutes. I tried to think about churchy things, but when I did I would just burst into tears. I felt surrounded by so much love and joy. I felt reminded constantly of the significance of what we were about to do. I felt amazingly blessed that I was able to be a part of Vivien's life.
Before we left the house I had jokingly told Valerie (who was staying with us) not to be late. That was the last thing I said to her: "See you soon, don't be late." I said it as a joke. So it was very funny to me when one of the temple workers told us that we were waiting on "my sister Valerie." I guess they got lost? I was not sure where they were. There was an accident on the freeway though, and I think Valerie being late actually made it so a few of our other guests could make it in time, so it all worked out. It is funny to get that kind of news though because you aren't even thinking about anyone else at that time. I was so far removed from anything outside of the temple that I kind of forgot other people were coming. I did tell Brent that I wished we were just doing the sealing, and then we could go home and not make a big deal of it with pictures. Which, coming from this picture crazy girl, is saying something. But I knew we would want them and I'm so glad we have them now of course.
Finally it was time for us to go into the sealing room. We first met with our sealer and talked with him for a few minutes. Then we went into the room. My giddy happy feeling intensified even more and I could barely keep it together. I sat down on the couch next to my mom and I grabbed her hand. I looked around the room at all of the people that we loved and people that had meant so much to us during the whole adoption process. Of course I don't remember a word the sealer said. I didn't expect to, nor did I feel like I needed to. I really just spent the time looking around trying to memorize how I was feeling.
Brent and I then knelt at the altar and then the girls came in the room. And oh man, I just lost it. This is where writing it all down gets a bit tricky. The next few moments were probably the most spiritual of my life and the feelings I felt are very sacred to me. First of all though I want to say how beautiful Vivien looked to me. She was of course in her adorable dress. I didn't know how she was going to react to any of this. But she came in, saw me, and came right to me with a big grin on her face. She came over to her spot and put her hand on ours. At that moment I felt like I couldn't breathe, but in a good way. The air in the room was heavy--that is the best way I can describe it. Vivien was glowing. She was smiling bigger than I've ever seen her. She kept looking at me and her dad and then looking up and smiling. She was smiling at all of her angels. I really think she could see them. The room was full of them. All of her ancestors were gathered in that room--I felt them. I knew they were there. I was a crying, blubbering mess, but I was smiling too. I was trying so hard not to scare Vivien because I know it freaks her out to see people crying. But she wasn't worried at all. She was like this little light bulb. She was the beautiful bright spot in the room. I have never felt the presence of my Heavenly Father so strongly in my life. I can easily say that after that experience I could never doubt my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What happens in those temples is real and eternal. There is no other explanation for the happiness and joy I felt in that room.
After Vivi was sealed to us we were able to gather with everyone in the room. I grabbed my little Stella and gave her a big hug. Part of my preparation for Stella was to tell her that she might forget many of the details from that day, but I wanted her to focus on the feelings she felt in the sealing room. I told her that whatever she felt in that room would be the Holy Ghost, and that she would be able to know how it felt. The only problem with that of course was when I told her later that I had never felt the Holy Ghost so strongly in my life. She was so sweet about all of it. She said that she wanted to cry, but she tried not to. I love her so much.
As each visitor came up and met with us, Vivi looked at each of them right in the eye. She was completely present in that room, and was soaking it all up. After the majority of the visitors left we were in the room with just the grandparents and the sealer had us look in the eternity mirrors. Brent held Stella up and I held Vivi. And man oh man I was just so very happy.
We then headed down to get everything together and get changed and ready to go meet up with everyone outside.
These are my favorites of the pictures Tyler took, while we took the more formal photos.
When it came time for us to take pictures of just us, both Stella and Vivi were over it. Brent was too as is obvious from his forlorn expression in many of the candid photos. Did I care that my family wasn't in the mood? NO! Do I wish I had taken more? YES. This is always how I feel no matter the occasion, so no surprises there. We did get Vivi to giggle by playing with her and letting her run around a bit. My girls looked so gorgeous in their dresses, I could barely stand it. And if I regret anything the most it is that I don't have very many really good pictures of them together in their special dresses. The following pictures were either taken by me or Courtney.
I love the handful of behind the scenes moments Tyler captured.
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