Monday, July 31, 2017


On May 5th, we celebrated Ava's birthday. It was Vivi's first real big family gathering and she loved it. Though she mostly loved getting to devour her very first cupcake.


Poor Heidi--if you didn't feel bad about the auntie stuck in Idaho who couldn't get down to Utah to see her new little Chinese niece, you have no heart at all. It was a difficult few weeks. Heidi and Wyn arrived on May 4th. That day we had lunch at the Dodo.

Cy came down later with friends because he was participating in a basketball tournament in Salt Lake. On Saturday we went down for the second half of the day's games. Vivi did not get a nap before we went and I was worried about how she would do, but she was fine. There were tons of cute girls there that were really into playing with her and after a while, I just let them play with her and hold her and stuff. What was really exciting was that she was also able to meet Nana Barb, Papa Dave, and also Shari. They were all so excited to meet her. Vivi enjoyed the whole thing and then crashed in the car on our short drive to the Spaghetti Factory. We had an amazing dinner that Vivi really loved and then headed home. 

The Gummow crew had to head home the next day. They gave her some snuggles before nap time, and then they left. Vivi was so sad when she woke up from her nap and they weren't at her side. Also I'm pretty sure she missed having Wyn around to touch his nose and go "booop" and make her laugh. It is always rough to adjust to life without the Gummows.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017


It was May 3rd and it was finally starting to get nice enough to spend my evenings on my favorite bed out on the back patio. Vivi and I sat out there together and she was being so sweet and snuggly that I could hardly take it. It had been almost a month since we had met and man, we had come a long way. She would take her two little hands and hold my face and look into my eyes and smile. It was seriously heart melting material. I made some pretty hilarious Instagram stories about how I had worn that sweatshirt for the entire week and loved on my baby. Viv was officially introduced to the patio bed and life was good.


Week two was a doozey. It started off great with a visit to Aunt Ashley's (Vivien loves Ava) and then Grammie and Papa came over where she warmed up to them for the first time. It was great to see her cuddle up with them and show them her very sweet side.

But by Thursday the 27th she was officially sick and it was a rough day for both of us. On top of outsmarting me with her new snack cup and still making a mess with her Cheerios, she coughed seriously about 40 times a minute, and I didn't feel bad for her. I felt bad for me. It was so annoying to me. At about 3:00 she just started screaming and whining and crying and she DID NOT STOP until going to bed at 9:00. I did not have the patience for her nor the reserve of love that I needed to care for her properly. I'm not the most patient nurse. Poor Stella was convinced I was going to send Vivi back to China I was so sick of her screaming at us. I was so thankful when Brent walked in the door with fresh patience and just took her upstairs where she screamed at him. I look back and feel awful for how angry I was at her, but at the time it seemed so overwhelming.

She had a horrible night and I know she didn't sleep much. When I got her up so we could take Stella to school she just flopped down on the floor, first crying and then just laying like a lump. This seemed a bit weird and scary to me so I took her to the doctor. After deciding to go to the doctor I set her down on the stairs where she flopped over backwards because she couldn't even hold herself up. I found her like that and felt a surge of warmth toward her that I hadn't felt before. This little girl needed her mommy and I was that mom. It was a huge step. At the doctor's office we found out that she had a regular virus and we would just have to get through it. When we got home I put on some essential oils that Courtney had brought over and she immediately stopped coughing and was able to take a nice long nap. I was so relieved to see her actually get some rest.

By Sunday we weren't ready to go to church again, but we had some delightful snuggles in my bed. We went on a family walk that night and I was happy to see that we hadn't totally missed all of the spring blooms while we were in China. Then Iva and Steve came over for a visit with Vivi. She was really happy to spend time with her other grandparents.

Each day felt more like normal. Stella was thrilled to be a big sister, but still felt lonely for her old life at the end of the day. However, overall we were all pretty much into Vivien.